From Power Bank to 15 minutes Quickie

"She put me inside her, and broooooo... it was sooooooo good 😁"

Boss, read this if you're about to close any deal.

Last Tuesday, Victor (not his real name) needed to power his phone.

There was no light (as per Naija wey we dey)

And he had to conclude a business deal with a client fast.

Now Victor didn’t come to me for my power bank

(cos he knows I won’t give him 😒)

So, he did this...

He went to his neighbour's house,

And knocked on her door.

When she opened up, he said,

"Funke, can I please borrow your power bank?"

Funke said,

"Oooookay. But what will I get in return?"

"What do you want?"

"Give me 2K."

"I don't have 2K. Is there another option?"

😈

Funke didn't answer with her mouth.

She just made an O with the index finger and thumb of her left hand,

And inserted two fingers of her right hand into that hole,

All while licking her lips and smiling seductively.

I know you're picturing it Boss... dirty mind 🤣

Anyway, what did my guy do?

First of all, he did as if he didn't know what she meant.

"Funke, I don't understand. What does that mean?", he asked, repeating her hand actions.

Funke then looked at his crotch and smiled again while licking her lips and repeating the hand gesture.

My guy coded immediately 🤣

"Ah Ah, Funke, naughty girl. You know I can't do that na?"

Funke said, "Wo, I'm horny. I've been like this since last weekend. Do you want the power bank?"

Victor then said,

"Okay, what if I go and buy you cucumber?

Would that help?"

Aunty Funke hissed and said, "No. I don't want cucumber."

"Okay. Do you have a vibrator?"

"No, I want the real thing."

"Okay Funke, let me call one of my friends to come help you out."

"No, I don't want your friends. I want you."

See Victor, see wahala.

Sha, let me not lie, Boss.

My guy also wanted to do the do but he was forming hard to get.

As it was looking like Aunty Funke didn't want to be an understanding neighbour,

Uncle Victor dropped his victorious name at the door as she pulled him in by his shirt... and in they went…to did the deed.

He said it was sweet sha.

Wetin concern me? 🤣

Eh eh, oya,

You enjoyed the story bah?

Oya, tell me how it relates to sales?

Go on na.

Wait, you still haven't seen it?

Chai... This is what I get when I gist you like this.

Oya, clean your dirty mind.

Let me tell you how this relates to sales…
And how you can apply it to your business.

This is where the lessons lie.
Pay attention.

Lesson 1: Nothing goes for Nothing.

Even though they are good neighbours,

For Victor to collect the power bank, he had to give something in return.

That is just Life.

See, everything about life is SALES.

Something must always go for something.

(Even philanthropist get something in return…nothing is truly free)

Don't expect people to do things for you without expecting them to want something in return.

Even if they don’t ask for their payment now,
Best believe that in time, they will.

That is just Life.

Lesson 2: People are SELFISH OPPORTUNISTS.

Funke and Victor live in the same compound.

Funke was horny for days.

Funke didn't go to Victor's room oh.

But the moment Victor came to her room,

She saw an opportunity.

She took the opportunity.

And she didn’t care how it affected Victor.

It was all about what she wanted at that moment.

Boss, we are all selfish opportunists.
The moment we see a chance to get what we want, we take it with two hands and two legs.

Expect people to leverage you every time it aligns with their interests.

It's our nature.

So, look for ways people will leverage your business to solve their problems.
The more you align with their interest, the greater the leverage you’ll have to get them to leverage you.

Lesson 3: Don't RUSH to Raise Your Hand.

From the very beginning,

From Funke's first "finger-ring",

Victor knew what she wanted.

(and he wanted it too, because...the boy no get sense 😂)

But he didn't accept to satisfy her.

He even gave her alternatives, not to steer her focus... but to desire him more.

People ALWAYS want what they know they cannot have.

It's our nature to be drawn to the forbidden fruit.

It's the DO NOT TOUCH button we always want to press.

We want what we can't have.

Victor made himself unavailable by showing other options.

That made Funke want him more.

In business, set yourself apart from the rest, by suggesting less desirable paths to the solution,
So the only logical choice at the end of the day becomes you and your business.

Lesson 4: There's No Lesson 4 Jo 🤣

Actually, that’s not true.

They entered Funke's room.

They did the doings.

My guy finish work.

And Funke was satisfied.

Always OVERDELIVER.

Let it be that after they work with you,
They’re beyond grateful they didn’t go with your lesser alternatives.

Be like Victor.

Always finish work.

And leave your clients satisfied.

Immediately Victor dressed up,

They brought light.

Hmmmm… Do you suspect foul play too, Boss?

In the end,

Did Victor collect power bank?

Or did he charge someone’s power bank?

That's all for now 😁

I hope you enjoyed this story 😊

If you enjoyed the read,

Let me know the part that made you laugh 😁

And don't forget to share this with your Victors and Funkes 😜

Sales lessons hide in plain sight around us.

Would you like me to expose more of them?

Let me know.

Until I write to you next time,

Cheers,

Godwin Udoh.

Do you have any burning questions about sales and marketing, want to give feedback/suggestions or just want to say Hi? Feel free to shoot me a reply. I always love hearing from fellow family-minded business rockstars!